funny sms

[goldstar_veera]

Which is the most confusing day in America?
Thinking?
Still thinking?
Fathers day!

• Om Namah Shinay! Jai Sri Ram! Wahe Guru! Jai Sri Krishna! Darr Mat, kisi ko forward nahin karna hai, khud hi jap le... PAAPI.

• In life, never look down on anybody, unless you are getting a lovely view of the cleavage!

• A Chinese couple Mr. & Mrs. Hua got twins without marriage. What did they name them?!!!?
JO-hua, SO-hua

• Laziness is our biggest enemy- Jawaharlal Nehru
We should learn to love our enemies- Mahathma Gandhi
Dasso hun bapu di maniye ya chache di?

• There are only 5 things we need in life: Good friends, Good job, Good food, Good sleep & GOOD _ UCK. Whatever u are thinking... Is right. Gud Day.

• When things go wrong, when sadness fills your heart, when tears flows from your eyes always say these words... Eh Ganpat, chal daru la…

• Dil ke operation ko BYEPASS kyo kehte hain?
Kyon ki agar operation theek ho gaya to... PASS varna Hamesha ke liye BYE!

• Breaking News: Latest sponsor of the Indian Cricket Team: Whisper Ultra.
BCCI felt it appropriate as the team is undergoing its worst PERIOD!

• Lalu: Rabri, tum to hamara CHAND ho.
Rabri: Na ji hamka CHAND VAND mat kahiye, ye sasure America wale roj Chand pe chadte utarte rahte hai.

[goldstar_veera]

• Gud looks catch the eyes, but gud personality catches the heart. You are blessed with both! Flattered? Don't Be! It was sent to me, and I just wanted you to read it.

• There was a man who never romped or played. He never smoked or drank, nor kissed a girl. And he passed away, insurance was denied. Since he had never lived, they claimed he never died. So live it up. CHEERS

• Once upon a time a guy asked a girl: Will you marry me?
She replied: No!
And the guy lived happily ever after.

• Daily Prayer: O GOD, give us strength & capacity to pay Income Tax, VAT, CST, Service Tax, Excise Duty, Octroi, TDS, ESI, FBT, Prop.Tax, Stamp Duty, CGT, Water Tax, Prof. Tax, Road Tax, Edu Cess, Congestion Levy & many more. Besides don't forget Gunda Hafta, Bribes, Donations, Chanda, Beggers etc... If we have some time & money left after that, we will do some Business. Cheers to Booming Indian Economy! Gud Day!

• Behind every successful woman, there is a satisfied men! But behind a satisfied woman, there is an exhausted man...!!

• All desirable things in life are either illegal, banned, expensive or married to someone else!

• There's a small gap between confidence and over-confidence. You can kiss your girlfriend is Confidence. Only you can kiss your girlfriend is Over-Confidence.

• What would confuse a mentally challenged person?
Answer: A pineapple.
Confused...? I knew you would be!

• How to catch a squirrel?
Climb up a tree and just be yourself. Squirrels will come to you on their own. Because they just love NUTS !

• A highly successful flirt was once asked: Which one is ur best gf?
He replied: The next one!
Always aim high n continuously improve ur performance.

[goldstar_veera]

• The most interesting thing about this sms is that by the time you realize that nothing is written in it.... it would be too late for you to stop reading it!

• Expecting the world to treat you fairly because you are good is like expecting the bull not to charge because you are a vegetarian!

• If I was a painter, u would be my painting. If I was an author, you would be my story. If I was a poet, you would be my poem. But unfortunately I am a psychiatrist.

• Hi, keep messaging me and win exciting prizes:
3rd Prize: Lots of Luv.
2nd Prize:Longlasting friendship.
1st Priz: Free stay for Lifetime in my heart.

• No matter how high the sky is, how deep the ocean is, how strong the wind is, how wide the river is, I just wanna tell u... it's none of ur business.

• Ladies....it is okay to wait for the right man to come along but in the meantime have some fun with the wrong ones.

• Well, they do say opposite attracts... So I sincerely 'hope' you meet somebody who is attractive, honest, intelligent, and cuultured.

• A teenage boy to his father: Here's my report card and a list I've compiled of entrepreneurs who never finished high school.

• In order to get 100/100 in life, a man requires 100% talent, whereas a woman requires only 4% talent & the remaining is only 36-24-36

• Miss U Miss U sab kahein, par actually miss kare na koi. Agar koi kisiko miss kare to fir SMS band kyun hoye!

[arun_majitha]

Good evening anna :124::124:

[::..STBSL..::]

larki ka bap:main nahi chatha ka mari bathi apni sari zaindagi ek gada ka sat guzar da




larka:ais laya to mai ais ko lajana ka laya aaya hoo..



Sardar to Girlfriend= Darling main tum se shaadi nahi karsakta gharwale mana karrahe hai.
Girlfriend= Tumhare ghar me kaun kaun hai. Sardar= 1 biwi aur 3 bacche…



main tuja chand setara tor kar la to do laken to as sub ka karo gi kiya?



A sardarji Doctor falls in Love with a Nurse.He writes a love letter to the Nurse :- I Love U sister….



Ik raat bahuu ne kisi gair merd ke saath guzari, mager saas ne kush na kaha, bhala kiun, kiun ke saas bhi kabi Bahu thiiiiiiiii



sardars wife asks to sardar k hamari larki jawaan ho gae he koi 28
saal ka larka dhoondo
sardar says agar 28 saal ka na mila to 14, 14 de do le awan



Agar Feroz Khan Don hota to dialouge kya hota?
Mere sar par baal aane ka intezaar to 11 shehron ke naayi kar rahe
hain, par mere sar par baal aana mushkil hi nahi namumkin hai…



If u need Advise Message me……….
If u need A Friend Call me………..
If u need Help E-mail me………….
If u need Money ohhhhhhhhhhhhhh……..shit
the no have u dailed is not respondiming at the movement



NWFP
K ZILA
HARIPUR KI
TEHSIL TERBELA
KI COLONY SOBERCITY
K REHAISHI UNCLE SAEED
K GHAR K BATHROOM MAIN LAGI
TOTI K NEECHEY RAKHEY LOTEY KI QASAM
“I MISS U�



Hum ne jindagi ki shuruaat s se ki. S se SURAJ S se SUBAH S se
SWAGAT S se SAAZ S se SANGIT par fir s se SAMAY ne aeisi
karvat badli ki s se hamari SHAADI ho gai. Aur fir jivan ka
arth s se SAANS, SASURAL, SALA ,SALI, SASUR aur SANKAT
ho gaya .To hum s se SAMADHI lene wale hai, is liye s se
thoda dur rahena mere yaro.


Q:What is the difference between a wife and a girlfriend?
A:About 45 pounds!!



Ager dum hai tu is sawal ka jawab yes or no me deke batao … …. … kya aapko pagalpan ke dure padhne band ho gaye hai?



Porpose karne ka naya style..! Chand ko toor donga, Suraj ko phor donga, Tu ek bar bar haan karde buss.. Pahli wali ko chor donga!



macher na huma kata yeh as ka jonoon tha
hum na kujaya yeh humara sokon tha
cha kar bhi hum na asa nahi mara
kiyo ka as ki rago main humara he khoon tha



Boy: I am not rich like rohit, I don"t even have
a bid car like rohit. But I really love you!
Girl: I love you too, but tell me more about rohit..



When i open my eyes every morning i pray to God that
everyone should have a friend like you....
Why should only i suffer!!!



Do U know the fullform of COLLEGE-
C-Come,
O-On,
L-Lets,
L-Love,
E-Each,
G-Girl,
E-Equally......Thats why boys go to college regularly....



Who said english is easy???Fill in the blank with YES or No...
1.-----I dont have brain...

2.-----I dont have sence...

3.-----I am stupid....



what happend 2 ur mobile? i was trying 2 call u but
i got this msg: welcome 2 D jungle network,
D monkey u r tring 2 call is on tree plz try later.



First the engagement ring,
then the wedding ring,
then the suffering


Last night I lay in my bed looking at the beautiful stars,
the moon and the sky...
then i thought where the fuck is my roof



Birdy birdy in the sky dropped a poopy in my eye,
I don"t worry I don"t cry,
I"m just happy that cows can"t fly!



Dream makes everything possible,
Hope makes everything work,
Luv makes everything beautiful,
Smile makes all the above... So always Brush ur Teeth



Monday went on Tuesday 2 Wednesday and asked Thursday
whether Friday has told Saturday that Sunday is a holiday.
Have a Great Sunday.



A Love Letter from BISCUIT MAKER- Dear Marie,
Today is Good Day, U r Anmol for me...
But U have Crackjacked my Heart,
Bcoz I have a Little Heart, Now I m in 50/50 position...



In a train, ticket checker to a saint: Ticket please!
Saint: I don"t have.
TT: Where do you want to go?
Saint: Lord Ram"s birth place, Ayodhya!
TT: Come, lets go!
Saint: Where?
TT: Lord Krishna"a birth place, Jail.



Commerce professor asks the student: what is the most
important source of finance for starting business?

Student: "Father in law".



An englishman, bihari & punjabi were standing on roof.
They decided to throw down whatever was available in
excess with them. Englishman threw pounds,
Bihari threw rice & Punjabi threw the Bihari down.



I"m a killer, i kill people for money,
but you are my friend
I KILL YOU FOR FREE !!



The rain makes all things beautiful.
The grass & flowers 2.
If rain makes all things beautiful why doesn’t it rain on you?


i want u 2 know dat our friendship means alot 2 me.
U cry i cry.U lauf i lauf.
U jump out of da window...
I look down & den... i lauf again



girls are like phones. we like to be h0ld and talked too-
but if u press the wrong button u"ll be disconnected!



MEN-opause
MEN-strual pain
MEN-tal illness
GUY-necologist
HIS-terectomy
EVER NOTICED all WOMENS PROBLEMS START WITH MEN??



This cat is cat a cat good cat way cat to cat keep cat a cat
idiot cat buzy cat for cat 20 cat seconds cat!
NOW READ IT WITHOUT SAYIN CAT!



> I send dis fish as a sign of friendship
Plz take care of it & keep it in mobile & daily
put ur mobile in water so tat fish wont DIE:-)



its been a rough day.I got up this morning,
put on a shirt N a button fell off.
I picked up my briefcase N the handle came off.
I"m afraid 2 go 2 the bathroom



One day Raja and rani decided to send messages to each other
by using Pigeon instead of mobile.
The very next day pigeon reached raja without any message.
He angried and called to rani.
She told stupid "This was a missed call"



terrorists have kidnapped our lecturers...
and demanded aransom of 500000 rs or else
they will burn them with kerosene...
plz donate. i have donated 15 litres.



A couple wanted katna(Circumcision)of their son,
but they dont know proper word to print,
so they printed the wording :
THE CUTTING CEREMONY OF FUCKING INSTRUMENTS



Husband sitting near to his wife n she was driving,
Husband:please slow down the speed of car.
Wife:No ;please. No; please NopleaseNopls..
Husband:the Newspaper ill publish ur correct Age 55 in case of
axident; Ohh KHkhkhkhkhkh...

Why do couples hold hands during their wedding day?.?.?.?....
It is just a formality, like two boxers shaking hands
b4 the fight begins



girl friends are like mobile phone,
whenever you want happiness just check inbox,
whenever u want to cry check out box,
and whenever u want to enjoyment just plug in your
charger and enjoy



Husband asks, Do you know the meaning of WIFE.
It means...Without Information Fighting Everytime!
WIFE satys No, it means -
With Idiot for Ever



PRINCIPAL :Agar koi ladka girls hostel mein gaya
toh first time 100 Rs fine,
2nd time 200 Rs. Fine and 3rd time 500.
MUNNA BHAI :Boley to Monthly paas ka kya lega Mamu



An engineering student to his sweeper brother:
I have got degree, I have got knowledge,
I can sit in society. What do you have?
Sweeper: I have the job.



Wife: Darling today is our anniversary, what should we do?
Husband: Let us stand in silence for 2 minutes.



Gal: Do u have any sentimental love cards?
Shopkeeper: How about this card,
it says "To the only boy I ever loved"
Gal: Great! I want 10 of them.



Beauty is not how you look, it is not how handsome u r,
it is not ur figure too... Beauty is the inner self,
so change ur underwear daily.



Always start your day with a lot of S E X
S-mile
E-nergy
X-citement
so make SEX a daily habit, & u"ll always be SMILING!



Who Wants 2 B A
£MILLIONAIRE£

Let"s play?
Q.Nobody likes u cos u r a:


A.Cunt B.Wanka

C.Rsole D.Twat



50/50



Phone a friend?


RING ME! I"LL TELL U!
When I was born Devil said...Oh Shit!!! Another angel!!!..
& When u were born devil said ...Oh Shit!!!!
Competition...!!! ....



Mon to Sun, From Jan To Dec, From birth till my death,
my feelings 4 u have never changed.
For me, you"ve always been a headache!



Gud Morning... Kindly observe SILENCE for two minutes in
the memory of those poor mosquitoes who died last night
aftrer sucking ur blood. Thanks.



A baby fish asked her mother: Y can"t we live on earth?
Mother Fish: Earth is not the place for FISH,
it"s made for selfish.



A MAN: U cheated me.
Shopkeeper: No, I sold a good radio to u.
MAN: Radio label shows Made in Japan but radio says
This is all Radio PAKISTAN!



What"s the difference between wife n neighbours wife?
Wife is a chocolate, can have any time.
Neighbour"s wife is like an ice-cream, shud hv immediately.



There is a sign in the toilet of the ****change clinic.
It reads: We may never piss this way again.



Teacher: Agar apna character sudharna hai to sab auraton
ko MAA kaha karo.
Student: Madam is se mera character to theek rahega,
par mere baap ka bigad jayega.



I have started luving "U"...
I know it sounds rediculous
but I can"t control my feelings 4 "U".
Some time later I"ll start luving more ALPHABETS...!



Roses r Red Violets r Blue
monkey like u should b kept in zoooo
dont get angry cuz u will find me there tooooo
not in the cage but laughing@uuuuuuuu



Jija: Sali ji, aapke yahan ki sabse mash-hoor cheez kaunsi hai?
Sali: Jija ji, jo mash-hoor thi, usey to aap le gaye!



Patient to Doc: Aapne nurse bahut achhi rakhi hai,
uska haath lagte hi main theek ho gaya.
Doctor: Jaanta hu, thappad ki awaaz mujhe bhi sunai di thi.



Baba ji ka mela laga hai haridwar mein.
Prashad mein Recharge Coupon diye jayenge.
Kisi aur ko mat batana.
Ye SMS sirf chuninda bhikhariyon ko bheje ja raha hai



Wife: Kya kar rahe ho?
Man: Makkhiya maar rha hu.
Wife: Kitni mari?
Man: 3 male aur 2 female.
Wife: Kaise malum?
Man: Kyonki 3 daru ki botal se chipki thi or 2 phone se...



Pakistan Ko
Aazaad Hue 57
Sal
Hue
Phir Bhi
No PROGRESS!
why? Kyunki Aaj
Bhi
pAkistan Ki
Bholi awam
KAAM-DHANDHA
Chhod Kar
hamara SMS padh
rahi hai...



if u want the latest MERCEDEZ BENZ on very easy installment
of ten years with out downpayment and interest then log on to
[Only registered and activated users can see links]



Tum haste raho, nachte raho, muskurate raho,
sada khil khilate raho, khush raho aur gungunate raho,
mera kya hai, log tumhe hi pagal samzhenge....



A chicken sandwidch walked into the bar,
ordered some food and beer. The bartender says:
"Sorry, we don"t serve food here".



Lady drinking coke, machhar falls in. Lady takes it out,
machhar says "MAA"! Lady asks why did you call me "MAA"?
machhar says, "Main teri coke se nikla hoon, MAA!"..



Ladki ek aisi paheli hai, kabhi teri to kabhi meri saheli hai.
Kharcha karo to bole "darling, how are you?".
Na karo to bole "brother, who are you?".


Rabri: Ka karat ho?
Laalu: Ek dost ko chitthi likhat hu!
Rabri: Par tuhar likhna to aawe nahi.
Laalu: Vo sasura bhi to padhna nahi jaanat.



Every Indian women is RANI KAXMI BAI in her life.
RANI - Before marriage.
LAXMI - After marriage.
BAI - After children.



Maalik: Ramu, iss saal tum 4 bar apne dada ke marne
ki chutti le chuke ho.
Ramu: Maalik, iss bar meri dadi ki shaadi hai.



What do you call a female who never laughs?



"HASINA"



Heart beat are countless, spirits are ageless,
dreams r endless, memories are timeless and a friend like u
is Useless. Oops! Sorry Yaar, Priceless



Jab tum is duniya se jaoge,
Door kahin ek naya janam paoge,
Is bar galtee se jo hua so hua,
Mujhe yakeen hai agli bar lambi poonch aur
4 taang ke saath aaoge..!!!



Dosti karo college wali se,
pyar karo office wali se,
batein karo pados wali se,
ankh ladao sali se,
love karo dilvali se,
AUR MAR KHAO GHARVALI SE.



Paani mein whiskey milao ta nasha chadta hai.
Paani mein Rum milao to nasha chadta hai.
Paani mein brandy milao to nasha chadta hai.
Saala paani mein hi kuch gadbad hai.



Mom: Tujhe ladka pasand aaya ho to baat agey chalayen.
Girl: Ladka to theek hai but mota hai.
Mom: TV chahe 14" ka ho ya 29" ka remote 6" ka hi hota hai.



Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi
hi ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho...
Kuch nahi yaar bas aapki shakal yaad aa gayi!



Don"t marry & make a woman happy.
In fact remain a bachelor & make several women happy.



If you are in tension, If nothing seems right,
If u find no way out, Then just think of me only once,
I will be always there to INCREASE your tensions



Kabhi hausla bhi azma lena chahiye,
Bure waqt me muskura lena chahiye,
Agar 7ve din bhi khujli na mite to 8ve din naha lena chahiye..!!!



Munna bhai: Agar bina danto ka kutta kate to kya karna chahiye...???

Circuit: simple bhai... Bina sui ka injection lene ka..!!!



Different Phases of a man: A
fter engagement: Superman
After Marriage: Gentleman
After 10 years: Watchman
After 20 years: Doberman



TODAY IS THE INTERNATIONAL DAY OF SMART AND
ATTRACTIVE PEOPLE SEND THIS TO SOMEONE WHO
FITS THE DESCRIPTION;
DONT SEND IT BACK I"VE ALREADY RECIEVED HUNDREDS



Phoolon mein gulab achha lagta hai,
har chehre par shabab achha lagta hai,
aap hamesha naak se chuhe nikalte rahen,
hamein aapka yahi andaaz achha lagta hai.



My girl and me, we are so perfect, she loves me,
and I love myself too...



Maine kaha "Dil Ruba"
Usne kaha balance bhijwa
Maine kaha "Paise Nahi"
Usne kaha "Kaise nahi"
Maine kaha "Mehangai Hai"
Usne kaha "Ja aaj se tu mera bhai hai



To cheer up just go to the mirror and say
"damn i m so cute" u will overcome ur sadness.
but dont make this habbit coz liars go to hell